Most men who've ever stood at a rugby club bar - or any bar for that matter - have probably engaged in some form of what Donald Trump has described as "locker room banter".
In effect, it's the things you can say behind closed doors, or within your own trusted circle, but wouldn't express in mixed company. It's the 'laddish' thing - a couple of guys, a couple of beers and a pointed glance over at a good-looking girl followed by a tasteless comment.
It's usually downhill after that - there's always someone who wants to push it too far or become over graphic. Most of us really don't want to know someone else's innermost thoughts on what they'd like to do with a girl at the other side of the room, or someone's wife or sister who just happens to be good-looking.
It's tasteless, but real life is never as politically correct as the thought police would want it.
That's why I was fascinated when the Trump Tape exploded on CNN via the 'Washington Post'.
At first I disagreed with the desiccated political commentators, mostly women, who characterised Donald Trump's words as he got off the bus to join a television actress as a form of sexual abuse.
Let's set the scene for a moment.
It's 11 years ago. Trump is getting off a bus accompanied by the Hollywood presenter Billy Bush, a relative of the more famous Bush political family. He's a small guy with a dirty mind who is egging on the billionaire as they are about to be greeted by 'Days of Our Lives' actress Arianne Zucker who is to escort them to the TV station.
Arianne is attractive, in looks and the way she's dressed, and after the first run through the tape I kind of wondered what the fuss was about. Men and women think differently and men are easily turned on by an attractive woman flashing a fair bit of flesh.
Trump was nothing but a very wealthy guy back then.
He was about to launch his television career and Arianne Zucker tells him "let's make you a soap star" running for the White House was not even a distant dream.
This was pure showbiz, and 11 years ago there was a lot worse going on in the dim corridors of television stations and concert hall dressing rooms around the world.
Then I saw the video again and begin to get a different feeling about it. It wasn't the use of the word "p***y" - crude as that was - it was another line of dialogue with Bush acting the stalking horse.
Looking through the window at Zucker, he says: "It better not be the publicist."
The only meaning you could take from that is that he and Trump believe a publicist would be a strong woman who would be able to look after herself, whereas they were hoping for someone more vulnerable, more open to unwanted sexual advances.
"I just start kissing them," Donald Trump, full of bravado answers. "It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't event wait. And when you are a star they let you do it. You can do anything."
That's where I decided that this wasn't just laddish or locker room banter, as Trump is trying to categorise it.
This was the exercise in the abuse of power by a rich man to get something he desires simply because he can.
"When you are a star they let you do it . . . you can do anything." This clearly means he's talking about having a licence to abuse his position, to prey on women, indeed, that he had already done so because when you are a star "they let you do it".
You could argue that in an ideal world girls and women should be less starstruck, but that doesn't excuse those who are being abused in this way.
This is a man who's had three wives and is the father of two beautiful and intelligent daughters. That they turned out so well having a father like him is the one thing that Hilary Clinton said in his favour during Sunday night's debate.
Who's buying Trump's apology that there is "a big difference" between his words and Bill Clinton's actions. The problem for Trump wasn't just the words, it was his inner belief that with his money, power and stardom "you can grab them by the p***y . . . you can do anything" and the feeling that he has already behaved like that with women.
That's not locker room banter - its inexcusable and abusive sexual behaviour. Donald Trump's biggest fan base is the American Bible Belt, where sexual morality is still taken seriously.
Can these people sublimate their repugnance for his immoral behaviour in favour of his catchy slogan: 'Make America Great.' Can women?
The Republican Party never wanted Donald Trump but he got the nomination by popular acclamation.
Many must yearn for a return to the smoke-filled back rooms where at least you usually got a candidate you could rely on not to disgrace you.
The Grand Old Party must now be shuddering at the thought of what's coming next from the Donald Trump back catalogue.
Irish Independent
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