Who would be a cyclist in Dublin? The fumes, the traffic, the dangerous motorists and distracted pedestrians, the simple act of cycling into work has now taken on an almost political significance.
And, like all political movements, they're mobilising - in the case of the cyclists, they're mobilising slowly. Very slowly.
That was certainly the impression in Dublin on Monday evening when a crowd of between 500 and 1,000 of Dublin's most irate cycling enthusiasts went on a slow-cycle protest through the city centre to the offices of Minister for Transport and Sport, Shane Ross.
In fairness to the cyclists, they're undoubtedly the first pressure group the embattled minister has encountered who encompass both parts of his portfolio, although it's hard to imagine he would be unduly anxious if these particular protesters announced they would be the next group to go on strike.
The problem with cyclists is that they insist on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the public eye.
After all, cyclists are merely people who chose to use the bike, they're not an embattled ethnic minority who need extra State subvention. Yet that is exactly what the go-slow was designed to ask for.
At the protest, which was attended by the usual inevitable worthies such as Ciaran Cuffe and Eamon Ryan, there were calls for '10pc' - a direct demand for a cool billion euro of the €10bn earmarked for transport in the Government's Capital Investment Plan (CIP)for the next five years.
It's complete madness, of course. But we shouldn't be surprised. After all, do-gooders always need our money to pay for their plans.
According to one of the organisers: "Securing funding is what we're after . . . which shows how you transition from where we are to a situation where everyone cycles all the time...We're talking cycling training, cycle-friendly road design, driver behaviour moderation, all these kinds of things."
In other words, we're talking a billion quid for some awareness-raising campaigns.
But while there's no doubt that we'd all like to see a capital city where pedestrian, cyclist and motorist coexist in a state of mutually blissful harmony, sympathy tends to taper out when their ideas come with such a huge bill attached.
Also, and this seems to be a question that never crossed their minds - what about people who don't want to cycle everywhere?
What about those who don't appreciate being lectured to by people who are also holding out the begging bowl?
The problem with the public perception of activist-cyclists is encapsulated in the casual smugness of demanding taxpayers' money to educate taxpayers about why they are wrong.
That's not to say there isn't room for compromise.
For starters, if cycling lobby groups want to be taken seriously, certainly a billion euros seriously, then we should start to talk about road tax for cyclists and reg plates for bikes.
Maybe if cyclists had to actively contribute to the roads in the same way as motorists, then everyone else would begin to take their gripes a bit more seriously.
But I wouldn't hold my breath.
The disconnect that exists between many cyclists and the pubic is largely down to militant bike-riders who think the roads owe them something - they don't. No more than the roads owe a pedestrian anything.
Also, nobody in the motoring trade defends idiot drivers and, as a pedestrian, I've never felt the need to defend someone who jay-walks.
So why do so many cyclists refuse to publicly accept that the act of pedalling a bike doesn't give you a free pass from basic courtesy, let alone a finer appreciation of the rules of the road?
We're looking at next week's Budget with all the trepidation of a nervous student on Leaving Cert day - we don't know what to expect, but we know it will be nothing good.
So, sorry, cyclists - asking for €1,000,000,000 to make cycling a more pleasant experience is not that high on the list of national priorities.
Irish Independent
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